Infomercials.
I was just watching an informercial for the Personal Power tapes. They can help you become a better person! Overcome your addictions! Obtain wealth beyond your dreams! I think they should sell a product that teaches you how to create and market your own ambiguous self-help program. Step by step instructions like using high-impact words to describe the results, and everything you need to know to get your infomercial aired late at night when all the weak-minded people watch TV. But you have to buy the tapes now, because pretty soon everyone will have their own self-help infomercials, and there won't be anyone left to buy them.