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I made it home alive. I have a lot to say about the trip, along with some excerpts from my trip journal, and of course lots of pictures. All of that should be forthcoming in the next few days. It was an amazing trip, but it feels good to be home. :)
The adventure begins soon. Very soon.
:)
"When I look back, I don't remember the times I was alone, no matter how serene. I remember the times I spent with others. I look forward to more of those times, away from the daily chores of earning a living at the hectic pace that accompanies every day. It's the hope that sustains me through the ordinary days, that here and there I will spend a truly memorable day with someone special." - Dad
Despair reaches into my soul and poisons my innermost being. How can this be? I thought nothing could reach me there. The center from which everything else takes root is not exposed to the world. It is safe from harm. I thought. My body tries to expel the toxins, but there are none. My stomach is empty. It no longer asks for food. I fail to comprehend the intrument of paralysis. Is there a virus eating away at my insides? Causing my body to tremble with pain? My muscles no longer wait silently for my command. What chemical process is this that can bring a man to his knees, unable to take another step? How hard can it be to move one foot in front of the other? The signals to my brain are mixed up and confused. I'm hot. I'm cold. I'm angry. I'm sad. My eyes shed tears suddenly and without reason. The emptiness inside makes me sick, but I prefer that feeling of hollowness to the blinding fury that gripped me just minutes earlier. Someone else takes control during those frightening moments when I'm consumed by rage. Descending into madness. If only for a moment. Is it really possible that my own emotions are responsible for all of this chaos? Can a feeling be so strong as to disrupt the entire physiological system? Apparently so. I guess it can be said that we don't truly appreciate how important our feelings are until they've been ripped from the soul and crushed beneath the boot of thoughtlessness by someone we love.
The sun cuts through the gray morning air like an arrow shot straight into my heart. I hate the sun. It looks down on me with such contempt. Every blistering ray it casts... able to find me no matter where I hide. My desire to rest in peace shattered by it's unbearable weight. Where is my place away from the sun? Where can I rest my head and be... still? Certainly not in this world. I don't belong here. Perhaps I'm serving a limited sentence from some other place. My violation must have been egregious. I tell you now that I have learned my lesson. Please, take me back. There is no place for me here... away from the sun.