Personals.
This is part of the description I used for myself on one of those online dating sites. I think it properly conveys my cynicism.
I'd like not to think that a few words thrown together hastily are my best hope of meeting someone special. And yet here I am. I say the penguins have the right idea. Get everyone together and let nature run its course. Instincts, don't fail me now.
If I were a female version of myself, I would so date me. But then I'd get bored and stop returning my calls.