stark ranting

Don't think about our insignificance in the scope of the vast universe. Don't think about our finite time in this life. Don't think about why we're even here. Ok, I get it. Don't think about these things, because thinking about them gets you nowhere. There are no answers. There are no solutions that could be reachable if only one gave it enough thought. And yet I need to believe that my actions have meaning. Meaning beyond the basic elements of keeping myself alive. Certainly people can find meaning in the act of bringing a child into the world. Or simply the pursuit of pleasure. But I'm left with the hollow feeling that my actions can only fulfill whatever goals I set for myself, and no greater purpose. There is no meaning outside of that which I invent. That's a truth I can accept, but it begs the question, what meaning do I want to assign to my life? My actions certainly have an effect on society, my friends, my family, the environment. What effects do I care to create? On a personal level my only wish is to be kind to the people I care about. To be a good friend, a good brother, a good son. My influence on the environment is a cause of concern; I yearn to be a good custodian of the diversity of nature. But my effect on society is the one that keeps me awake at night, because that has the potential to be the greatest and most enduring influence, and I keep thinking that our society needs help finding a new way. I just haven't quite figured out what it is yet.